We’re Visiting Here Ourselves
It is almost the end of our third self-imposed exile from the heat and crowds of Montpellier’s summer to the green lush 20-degrees-cooler Pacific Northwest. (Bob's comment: Of course there are times when it is a bit on the warm side in the Northwest, for example it was 105º in Ashland, Oregon when we were there this summer) .
How does this commute affect us?
Well, for one thing , we are much more aggressive and focused in both France and the US about how we use our time, always aware that we are leaving in just a few........
We eat outside more for reasons that are not entirely clear. For example, daily we used our small red geranium-filled balcony for at least one meal.
Short of time, we shared more meals with friends. We ate out with friends, we ate in with friends and sometimes we ate after biking or running. (We didn't, however, in our confusion eat any of our friends.)
Some of the time we commuted long distances to see friends: to Salem, Oregon, Bend, Oregon and south Seattle where we visited Elaine Case (below) and her daughter. Elaine, a family friend from New Mexico, visited Bob's mother weekly when Elsie lived in the retirement community close to Seattle and Elaine.
Once a week we were lucky enough to be invited to someone's home for a meal including Mija's home in Ballard, WA where we were surrounded by world class Italian art by Pino, who Mija befriended during her two year stay in Italy.
—in all cases, we found friendship and laughter.
The volume of these social engagements (about four a week) is especially staggering when one considers that, in addition, we had out of town guests for three of the eight weekends that we were in town.
Our social life was concentrated, vital and satisfying but of course it wasn't enough because I didn't get to spend quality time with some folks who are really dear to me. Next year.
For the first time in more than 20 years, we went to Ashland, Oregon, with its repertory specializing in Shakespeare. We paid for our stay at the Plaza
by eating all our meals at the Ashland Food Coop. I attended—with 40 others — a five day two hour a day seminar complete with professor, actors, costume designers that focused on four Shakespeare plays (Henry IV Pt 1, Merchant of Venice, 12th Night and Hamlet) as Bob cycled the hills of Ashland Oregon.
They have intergenerational offerings if you want an idea for next summer.
What else does this commute teach us? We found that chronic sleep deprivation is to be avoided because it becomes a habit that is difficult to break. After nearly a month, we decided that if we are awake two nights in a row, we will take half a Unisom about an hour before lights out. Unisom is an over-the-counter sleeping pill that takes an hour to work and lasts for about eight hours.
Third, we are finding that we shop differently. For example, clothes and books (protected in France from discounts) in the US are 20% less expensive than France.
Fourth, we have decided that until our French is better, our center of gravity for health care will remain in the United States. We saved 20% (we have 80% coverage if our provider is in-area rather than 60% for out-of-area French providers) for general check ups, skin exams, dental cleaning and fillings, eye exams and glasses and hearing exams, aids, glasses and physical therapy. In addition, our insurance paid for 80% of the costs of four visits to a masseuse in the USA, a service not covered out of the country. Medicare covers nothing overseas. This concentrated approach to health care consumed about a day each week!
Therefore we socialized at night and attended to our bodies during the day. Sounds pretty self centered don't you think? (Or is this what happens when one reaches a certain age?)
Fifth, this is the first real downside...we sacrifice greatly desired gains in our French proficiency when we live in an English speaking country for more than a week or two. We tried to make up for it as we studied French for an hour a day and spoke French to each other during the day. Our “study” consisted of writing to our French friends and reading French literature while simultaneously listening to an audio of the same book that we were reading. ( Bob is now reading Le Comte de Monte Cristo and I am reading the Le Petit Prince) Does it count as studying when we drink wine and eat cheese every Wednesday at someone’s house, including this July 14 Bastille Day party below?
(We had 15 of these French-speaking folks over to our house for wine and cheese, adding one more event to our social calendar.)
Sixth, we are much more likely to participate in community events in the USA as a result of our pursuit of French speaking community in France. We attended our first City Council meeting in 15 years on the subject of liveaboards: where can "residents" of boats moor in Eagle Harbor? Bainbridge has lots of community arts events, like the studio tour where our dear pregnant friend Anna VonRosenstiel sold her whimsical pottery.
We attended First Friday art tours, concerts and movies in the park as well as Island Community Theater's play reading of August: Osage County which was nominated for 7 Tony Awards. The play/potluck was held at Yonder, Cynthia Sear's shoe-free art-filled retreat center nestled in the woods of Bainbridge island. (Bob's eggplant lasagne was voted the best dish by the 50 people there!) Everywhere one looks the eye is filled with art. The door to the downstair's movie theater:
Last Sunday we enjoyed David Lindsay-Abaire's 2007 Pulitzer Prize winning play: Rabbit Hole. Island Community Theater is spare: no sets and the actors read their parts. We find it excellent.
Some things don't change with the intercontinental commute. Exercise and French continued as a daily part of our lives. Bob biked at least an hour almost every day.
My exercise program included bike rides, walks four times a week with friends, short runs at the track in my new Vitram 5 Fingers, and exercise classes where we played like children out of doors.
Why did we go to a pancake breakfast immediately after walking the course for the Second Annual NIA Fourth of July Fun Run?
Another thing that doesn't change is the importance of family and friends. Sheila, my best friend as well as my sister, a nonsmoker diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer nearly two years ago, created the five days that highlighted the summer. We visited both the San Diego Hospice in California and the Hospice of Kitsap County in Washington surprising the staff since most prospective patients are not as beautiful as she and don't turn up months ahead of time. The hospice in San Diego is beautifully sited.
How were we so lucky to find two such wonderful places to live? This month's American Association for Retired People's magazine recommends where we live in France, the Montpellier area as one of the 10 best places to retire overseas. Bainbridge Island, where we live in the US, was chosen by Money magazine in 2005 as the second best place to live in the US.
In return I want to give more and to give more intelligently to these communities. For example, I would give both condos away in a moment if that gift could turn the USA into a functioning democracy, (Recommended: The Value of Nothing by Raj Petal and The Empire of Illusion by Chris Hedges), if the gift could make our banks servants of the community rather than thieves, and/or if the gift could give my sister back her health. Life cannot be purchased but democracies can.
For the last 30 years, we have made our annual money contributions by giving away a fixed percent of our adjusted gross revenue and rank ordering our alternatives. For the last 10 years we have spent a substantial part of our discretionary time in transition to the last third of our lives and supporting my mother through colon cancer and my sister's fight with lung cancer.
Now that we have “settled” ourselves in two communities and two countries it is time to set an expectation of how much time we want to give to these communities each week and then to rank order the alternatives. If you have ideas that have worked for you or others you know, will you let us know? What about a weekly or monthly dinner or book club where every participant contributes a written paragraph of ideas at each meeting? (Benjamin Franklin’s secret Friday night 12-person dinner group used this format.)